up close

Anxiety & the MRI

Sometimes we have bad days and sometimes those days turn into weeks. We don't always know why, often because it's what's happening subconsciously that's causing the problems. In those cases, it can help to work backwards to try to figure out what's wrong. I just had one of those weeks and this is what I figured out.

Last Friday, I had an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scan on my spine - nothing serious, just some postural stuff going on due to all the sitting on couches that I do, I'd say (the psychologists' occupational hazard). It'd been booked for around three weeks and I hadn't consciously thought of it in the lead-up other than it being an appointment I had to attend.

Monday started well, work was busy, clients were doing well, I'd squeezed in some exercise and had been watching Married at First Sight (I love that show - what a behavioural experiment!). Life was pretty good.
Tuesday, nothing out of the ordinary occurred although I noticed I felt more tired than usual but by Wednesday I noticed a total shift in my mood. I felt flat and not very enthusiastic about getting out of bed in the morning. My schedule of clients and programs to run weighed heavily on my mind (not a usual occurrence for me) and I had to drag myself through the day.

By Thursday, I felt on the verge of tears all day, which if you've read my previous article on crying, you'd realise was a sure sign there was something up. A couple of caring colleagues checked in with me that day, "Are you okay?" which caused me to reflect. Am I? "Yeah, I'm okay, just a bit tired I think," came my standard response. By the afternoon when I felt as though I didn't want to see my final three clients and actually considered cancelling them despite one already being in the waiting room (something I have never even considered before!), I realised something was wrong.

Thankfully, I managed to see my clients and give them quality sessions. I even managed to pick up my nephews from school, get them to sport, make my Pilates class and attend another appointment I had, all the while having the niggling question in the back of my mind, "what is going on with me this week?"

When I couldn't come up with a single definitive explanation for why I felt so unsettled/anxious/burnout/stressed I decided to work backwards.

I've previously described the ABC Model of cognitive therapies:

Where an Activating event is followed by a Belief that influences the Consequence - our feelings.

Sometimes, we are lucky enough that we are conscious of our thought processes and can easily put the A-B-C together in order in a serial fashion, but more often than not, our thinking occurs automatically on an unconscious or even subconscious level that either requires us to direct our attention to the problem-at-hand to solve, or requires us to appraise the situation in order to conclude the most likely explanation by working in reverse.

What that looks like in practice, is that we begin by noticing the 'C', the feeling. The change in mood was definitely the first thing I'd noticed over the week and it hadn't been pleasant.

To work backwards, you then retrace your steps in a way - going back to the 'A' the activating event - by asking yourself, "Okay, what's been happening in the last few days that I've been feeling this way?"

The fact that my mood had worsened the closer I got to Friday held the key for me and as I spoke to a beautiful friend on the phone Thursday night, I started processing my thoughts - the 'B' - on a conscious level, revealing the likely worries to myself at the same time as verbalising them to her.

I had surmised that I had subconsciously been worried that the MRI scan would show that somehow I'd had a cancer relapse. Not only that, I felt angry at and disappointed in myself for feeling anxious about cancer because "after seven years, I SHOULDN'T be worrying about it anymore - it was behind me". Not only that, but I also told myself that "I SHOULDN'T be anxious about having an MRI because I've had way worse things happen to me than that, so I SHOULD stop being ridiculous."

These are some good examples of unhelpful thoughts - any thought that is unproductive and is linked to uncomfortable emotions.

I'd obviously had all of that going on in my mind somewhere - any wonder I felt like crap!!

I'd been giving myself a really hard time and I didn't even know it. My fear about the MRI related directly to my fear of getting sick again, which all relates back to my fear of death. Thank you survival instinct. Thank you amygdala. My unconscious primal brain was just doing its job!

Once I'd identified and spoken about my fears, I felt immediate relief and was able to mentally prepare myself for the MRI the next day. It wasn't fun or easy but I chose to use it as an opportunity to practice what I preach and I'm happy to say that I successfully engaged in three psychological tools that helped me cope while lying in a small noisy tunnel for one and a half hours.

MRI's commonly bring clients into the clinic for assistance because they commonly cause anxiety in the form of claustrophobia. I'll be heading over to the Coping Toolkit now to write some tips on how to manage your anxiety if you have to have an MRI of your own. I'll also be writing about some common unhelpful thinking styles and what to do about them, not to mention an Analyse This article on claustrophobia. That should keep me busy for a while!

Do you have a topic you'd like to read about or a question you'd like to ask? Please send us a comment or a message and don't forget to share us with your friends and subscribe to our newsletter halfway down our home page. Big love, Jodie x

chair 51px

4 comments

  • Comment Link Jodie @ The Psychology of It Thursday, 16 February 2017 08:54 posted by Jodie @ The Psychology of It

    Thank you for your comments everyone! Melissa, while it's definitely not easy to share personal stories, I always hope that it might help at least one person and that makes it all worthwhile.

    MRIs would have to test the best of us Rachele and Paul - let's hope not everyone will have to experience anything like that!

    Thanks for reading and for your thoughtful comments!

    Jodie
    x

  • Comment Link Mel Wednesday, 15 February 2017 20:47 posted by Mel

    Fantastic article Jodie! Wonderful insight to help so many people, you're amazing as always for sharing such a personal experience. Xx

  • Comment Link Rach Wednesday, 15 February 2017 19:23 posted by Rach

    Great article Jodie!!! And good to have some strategies to use. I hadn't considered at all the possibility of anxiety related to an MRI until I was having one by which time it was a little late.

  • Comment Link paul Wednesday, 08 February 2017 07:04 posted by paul

    good morning Jodie Paul here I can totally relate to what you have experienced as I have gone through all those emotions at several stages during recovery from my accident, but mostly in the years after, and I have found that it did not necessarily have to do with medical issues what I found is that as you seemed to if I spoke about it and talked it through it helped immensely to help get to the bottom of the problem cheers Paul.

Leave a comment